Well.
Two days in a row now, I have forgotten my nicoderm patch! And remembered each time as soon as I hit the highway (obv not wishing to turn back). Both times, I panicked, thinking I would trick my brain into believing that to be a good enough reason to buy some smokes. But luckily, I told my brain to man the fuck up and not listen to my arsehole conscience. :)
So far so good. 17 days have now elapsed. 21 was in my opinion, the most vital milestone. Smooth sailing thus far, and hopefully nothing will set me off course.
Speaking of setting me off course, I got drunk by myself. What an awesome way of celebrating my birthday...sigh. I hate it here. Please someone randomly show up at my door and beg me to sell you my house for way more than it's worth! Since that's highly unlikely, I suppose I should do my best to get this place rented. Because depending on a worthless whore to pay for half of this place isn't going to last forever or much longer, even though said whore should be paying forever. Why should I have to be responsible for other people's fuck ups? Life is so unfair. But out of this despair, one day, something great will come of it.
It's also worth noting...I probably shouldn't talk to people when I'm drunk. Honesty is a good policy and I believe in telling the truth. But sometimes, timing takes precedence. Now I feel like an idiot. Sigh...I'm sighing a lot aren't I? Sigh...
Detroit keeps fucking losing. Idiots...
I haven't been exercising/working out as much as I should. It feels like by the time I'm done work and I sit down for five minutes, the day is over. How much more can I take? I honestly cannot believe I have been able to quit smoking under these conditions. Especially with forgetting my patch a couple times...an annoying accent used to make me relapse in past attempts.
This entry was pretty useless...just bitching and whining. I apologize. Hopefully soon, I'll have something exciting to write about. Or maybe I'll write a short story or some poetry. Who knows...
P.S. Fuck tha Police!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Almost...
My first losing session of the year. But I ended up plus $15. What a waste of time lol...but then again, I showed some heart and battled back, being down as much as $350 or so. I'm happy to experience some variance and be fortunate enough not to have to lose two buy ins. I'm really finding that positive/wishful thinking is causing me to flop a lot more sets. Sure it could be a coincidence. But I dunno, the frequency seems to be increasing.
No really crazy hands to talk about, but there was one hand that helped me battle back up to over even against Mr. Cocky (the kid I talked about in a previous entry). Cockles raises to $15 in middle position. I defend in the Big Blind with A10 suited. I don't really like playing this kind of crap out of position, but against a player like him, he could be holding anything and it's very likely I have the best hand. If I hit hard, I can probably trap him for a big pot, and if I'm not feeling it, I can get away.
Another player in EP (early position comes along) and we see the flop 3 ways.
A 10 x (x being a 6 or some sort of rag if I recall). I flop top two pair. Pretty much the flop I was hoping for. Now there might have been a flush draw out there, but I don't remember. It doesn't matter in this hand. I check, with the intention of check calling, and leading the turn. I feel a checkraise will make him fold unless he hit strong. Perhaps, he'll put me on a draw and think I'm semi bluffing the turn. To my surprise, EP and he also check. Turn is a 7.
Now the board is getting a bit iffy, and I'm not going to check again regardless. I bet around 25-30 bucks. EP folds. Cockers hesitates for a while, counts out some chips and makes it about 65. Now I'm thinking, maybe he has a big Ace after all. A set or straight is obviously possible, but I'm not feeling that. I hesitate for a while, and then reraise to about 120. He looks a bit miffed, possibly even disgusted, and finally calls. (keep in mind these betting amounts are not exact...I apologize, I should probably try and remember details if I'm going to talk about a hand)
River is a blank, and I quickly push all in for just over a hundo. Again, he looks disgusted but finally calls. He has A7 for a smaller two pair and I win a nice pot. Yay! I can tell he's really starting to not like me. Haha!
Anyways, the game went into the wee hours of the morning, and eventually broke 3 or 4 handed. Was up about $15 when it was all said and done. I probably could have ground out a winning session, but I was very card dead, and bored. So I played a lot of junky hands in non-optimal situations. I shouldn't be playing when I feel like that, because I bled out a lot of chips...but oh well. It helps me learn for next time to be a bit more patient. And instead of playing trash, I should be observing other players and picking up valuable information to use against them later.
Today was officially two weeks no smoking! It's been tough, but it seems to be going good. I forgot to wear a patch a couple times recently, and surprisingly it went ok. Today was one of those days. The day went along fine...but when I got home, I was overwhelmed. My cats were begging for food as if they hadn't eaten in days, and while I was struggling to put away groceries, I picked up a bottle of Olive Oil which proceeded to spill all over the floor and onto my clothes. My built up tensions boiled over. I fucking lost it. Yelling, swearing, etc. Then I find out Bella had unravelled all the toilet paper. So like a crazed lunatic, I brought her into the bathroom, shut the door, confronted her about her mess, and scolded her loudly. Then, while she cowered in the corner, I proceeded to spray her with a water bottle, leaving her no where to run or hide.
A wave of remorse immediately ran over me. The look on her face almost made me cry. My poor Bellerz...I quickly slapped on a patch and cleaned up. She lurked nearby, with a shameful look on her face. I called her to me, and apologized. We are cool again now. :)
I then made a monstrous meal of Olive Oil Mashed potatoes (thanks for the recipe Paul :D), a nearly 1 lb Ribeye, topped with garlic butter sauteed mushrooms, and a caesar salad. Those who know me, know I am no gourmet chef. But in my new single life, I've discovered I must fend for myself, and what better way to occupy my time then to learn how to cook! Well it was hectic in the kitchen, and trying to time everything got a bit tricky. But the steak turned out better than ever, the mushrooms were fantastic (a tiny bit over cooked), and the potatoes were also very nice. Possibly the best meal I've ever made. Quite satisfying. Mak couldn't stop licking his chops and trying to get at it. He managed to steal some milk though.
My bowflex routine has suffered a bit lately, first being interrupted by a sudden unplanned drinking spree on Friday, and failing to pick up where it left off. But I've discovered that perhaps it is time to use my dumb bells, which have sat unused for years, still in their original box. They are much heavier and more difficult to use then the machine weights. Pushups, curls, and other such exercises have shown me I can push myself to new heights in the comfort of my own home. Running the stairs is also a great cardio workout. I just need to get more consistent, and I think I may join the gym soon as well.
Oh my God...Mak and Bella are adorable. Bella is licking/biting Mak's face. Apparently he did not wash it after dinner...hahaha! What would I do without these two goons?
The prospect of a very lonely, single, and uneventful birthday looms. Tomorrow I will reach the ripe age of 27. Wow. 27. Age creeps up on you very suddenly. I can't even believe it. And here I am. In the middle of Alberta, essentially alone, unhappy and really wondering how I got here in the first place...
I still remember vividly, my first day of grade 1, finishing my work early and running out on to the playground completely alone, allowed to begin recess early and explore the school yard uninterrupted. That particular moment stands out so clear in my head. I remember thinking,
"Wow. The world is a big place. Look at all of this!"
Little did I know how big it really was, and all I would see in years to come.
That was well over 20 years ago. Are you serious? Or grade 6, smashing the bottoms of our desks with our knees when Mrs. Minken's back was turned, causing an annoying ruckus that would drive anyone nuts. Almost 15 years ago. Grade 9 dances, driver training...Then, my first introduction to alcohol and recreational drugs (only a couple reefer toots :P) in high school.
My my, how time flies. Thinking back how much I loathed going to school...heck I would give anything to be back in those care free days. No bills, work was actually fun at the Tower Theatre...cruising Broadway...driving to Manitoba to drink at the bar...cutting class to see a girl...
Then my decision to go to Calgary. The world suddenly seemed very large. Larger than I could ever imagine. Adjusting to big city life was a daunting task that lied ahead. I met so many new people, experienced many new things. Out on my own at last. And then I wonder...
Would I have changed anything if I could? I can't imagine how things would have turned out if I had made some different choices. Perhaps better. Maybe worse. I'll never know...that is, unless I can discover the secret of time travel and alternate dimensions.
I feel like things get more clear everyday. I continue to learn from my choices, and especially my mistakes. I feel like it is making me a better person. But I'm in a very transitional phase of my life. Cold hard reality has gripped me tightly...I'm getting older. It's an inevitable part of life. Heck, another 27 years and I'll be in my mid 50's... Sometimes, I feel more lost than ever. Are things really getting more clear? Because sometimes, it's so blurry I think I've lost a contact lens. Sometimes, I want to just lay down and give up. Everything seems to be a constant struggle.
What do I want to do with my life? Where do I want to be? What are my greatest desires? What is preventing me from already being there? What can I do to change this?
These are things that cross my mind everyday, and yet I fail to really sit down and contemplate these unanswered questions. And time goes by. Faster and faster everyday. I think it is time, for drastic change...I have a lot to figure out in the next little while. And I feel I can't put it off anymore. Life is too short, and time is too valuable for me to sit around in despair, or confusion.
Times they are a changing...and either I get left behind, or I grudgingly move forward, into the vast unknown. I realize again, the world is bigger then I ever imagined...
And it scares the hell out of me...
No really crazy hands to talk about, but there was one hand that helped me battle back up to over even against Mr. Cocky (the kid I talked about in a previous entry). Cockles raises to $15 in middle position. I defend in the Big Blind with A10 suited. I don't really like playing this kind of crap out of position, but against a player like him, he could be holding anything and it's very likely I have the best hand. If I hit hard, I can probably trap him for a big pot, and if I'm not feeling it, I can get away.
Another player in EP (early position comes along) and we see the flop 3 ways.
A 10 x (x being a 6 or some sort of rag if I recall). I flop top two pair. Pretty much the flop I was hoping for. Now there might have been a flush draw out there, but I don't remember. It doesn't matter in this hand. I check, with the intention of check calling, and leading the turn. I feel a checkraise will make him fold unless he hit strong. Perhaps, he'll put me on a draw and think I'm semi bluffing the turn. To my surprise, EP and he also check. Turn is a 7.
Now the board is getting a bit iffy, and I'm not going to check again regardless. I bet around 25-30 bucks. EP folds. Cockers hesitates for a while, counts out some chips and makes it about 65. Now I'm thinking, maybe he has a big Ace after all. A set or straight is obviously possible, but I'm not feeling that. I hesitate for a while, and then reraise to about 120. He looks a bit miffed, possibly even disgusted, and finally calls. (keep in mind these betting amounts are not exact...I apologize, I should probably try and remember details if I'm going to talk about a hand)
River is a blank, and I quickly push all in for just over a hundo. Again, he looks disgusted but finally calls. He has A7 for a smaller two pair and I win a nice pot. Yay! I can tell he's really starting to not like me. Haha!
Anyways, the game went into the wee hours of the morning, and eventually broke 3 or 4 handed. Was up about $15 when it was all said and done. I probably could have ground out a winning session, but I was very card dead, and bored. So I played a lot of junky hands in non-optimal situations. I shouldn't be playing when I feel like that, because I bled out a lot of chips...but oh well. It helps me learn for next time to be a bit more patient. And instead of playing trash, I should be observing other players and picking up valuable information to use against them later.
Today was officially two weeks no smoking! It's been tough, but it seems to be going good. I forgot to wear a patch a couple times recently, and surprisingly it went ok. Today was one of those days. The day went along fine...but when I got home, I was overwhelmed. My cats were begging for food as if they hadn't eaten in days, and while I was struggling to put away groceries, I picked up a bottle of Olive Oil which proceeded to spill all over the floor and onto my clothes. My built up tensions boiled over. I fucking lost it. Yelling, swearing, etc. Then I find out Bella had unravelled all the toilet paper. So like a crazed lunatic, I brought her into the bathroom, shut the door, confronted her about her mess, and scolded her loudly. Then, while she cowered in the corner, I proceeded to spray her with a water bottle, leaving her no where to run or hide.
A wave of remorse immediately ran over me. The look on her face almost made me cry. My poor Bellerz...I quickly slapped on a patch and cleaned up. She lurked nearby, with a shameful look on her face. I called her to me, and apologized. We are cool again now. :)
I then made a monstrous meal of Olive Oil Mashed potatoes (thanks for the recipe Paul :D), a nearly 1 lb Ribeye, topped with garlic butter sauteed mushrooms, and a caesar salad. Those who know me, know I am no gourmet chef. But in my new single life, I've discovered I must fend for myself, and what better way to occupy my time then to learn how to cook! Well it was hectic in the kitchen, and trying to time everything got a bit tricky. But the steak turned out better than ever, the mushrooms were fantastic (a tiny bit over cooked), and the potatoes were also very nice. Possibly the best meal I've ever made. Quite satisfying. Mak couldn't stop licking his chops and trying to get at it. He managed to steal some milk though.
My bowflex routine has suffered a bit lately, first being interrupted by a sudden unplanned drinking spree on Friday, and failing to pick up where it left off. But I've discovered that perhaps it is time to use my dumb bells, which have sat unused for years, still in their original box. They are much heavier and more difficult to use then the machine weights. Pushups, curls, and other such exercises have shown me I can push myself to new heights in the comfort of my own home. Running the stairs is also a great cardio workout. I just need to get more consistent, and I think I may join the gym soon as well.
Oh my God...Mak and Bella are adorable. Bella is licking/biting Mak's face. Apparently he did not wash it after dinner...hahaha! What would I do without these two goons?
The prospect of a very lonely, single, and uneventful birthday looms. Tomorrow I will reach the ripe age of 27. Wow. 27. Age creeps up on you very suddenly. I can't even believe it. And here I am. In the middle of Alberta, essentially alone, unhappy and really wondering how I got here in the first place...
I still remember vividly, my first day of grade 1, finishing my work early and running out on to the playground completely alone, allowed to begin recess early and explore the school yard uninterrupted. That particular moment stands out so clear in my head. I remember thinking,
"Wow. The world is a big place. Look at all of this!"
Little did I know how big it really was, and all I would see in years to come.
That was well over 20 years ago. Are you serious? Or grade 6, smashing the bottoms of our desks with our knees when Mrs. Minken's back was turned, causing an annoying ruckus that would drive anyone nuts. Almost 15 years ago. Grade 9 dances, driver training...Then, my first introduction to alcohol and recreational drugs (only a couple reefer toots :P) in high school.
My my, how time flies. Thinking back how much I loathed going to school...heck I would give anything to be back in those care free days. No bills, work was actually fun at the Tower Theatre...cruising Broadway...driving to Manitoba to drink at the bar...cutting class to see a girl...
Then my decision to go to Calgary. The world suddenly seemed very large. Larger than I could ever imagine. Adjusting to big city life was a daunting task that lied ahead. I met so many new people, experienced many new things. Out on my own at last. And then I wonder...
Would I have changed anything if I could? I can't imagine how things would have turned out if I had made some different choices. Perhaps better. Maybe worse. I'll never know...that is, unless I can discover the secret of time travel and alternate dimensions.
I feel like things get more clear everyday. I continue to learn from my choices, and especially my mistakes. I feel like it is making me a better person. But I'm in a very transitional phase of my life. Cold hard reality has gripped me tightly...I'm getting older. It's an inevitable part of life. Heck, another 27 years and I'll be in my mid 50's... Sometimes, I feel more lost than ever. Are things really getting more clear? Because sometimes, it's so blurry I think I've lost a contact lens. Sometimes, I want to just lay down and give up. Everything seems to be a constant struggle.
What do I want to do with my life? Where do I want to be? What are my greatest desires? What is preventing me from already being there? What can I do to change this?
These are things that cross my mind everyday, and yet I fail to really sit down and contemplate these unanswered questions. And time goes by. Faster and faster everyday. I think it is time, for drastic change...I have a lot to figure out in the next little while. And I feel I can't put it off anymore. Life is too short, and time is too valuable for me to sit around in despair, or confusion.
Times they are a changing...and either I get left behind, or I grudgingly move forward, into the vast unknown. I realize again, the world is bigger then I ever imagined...
And it scares the hell out of me...
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Chop Your Breakfast on a Mirror!!!
Ok, Ben. I apologize. There have been times when U2 has put out a couple singles here and there that might target the masses. But quite often, they turn out to be legit good songs! So ha! :D And then again, you like Ja Rule, so why should your opinion even matter? Oohhh SNAP! LOL
Mak is kneading my effin' stomach and it hurts. Time to trim the claws you chubby bastard! Speaking of, he keeps trying to drink my BEEFCAKE juice! Dear Lord, could you imagine if Mak ingested a shake that's designed to help a human pack on pounds?
All Star break, the Wings fall to 5 pts behind the Sharks. I don't really care to be honest. Winning the conference means sweet fuck all. The President's Trophy is a useless trinket that often seems to curse it's winner. Although Detroit basically proved all stereotypical superstitions to be bullshit last year...but winning the division would be nice (and seems highly likely) to gain home ice for the first couple rounds. As usual, the critics said Detroit could not withstand the young and talented offensive onslaught of Chicago this year and would be challenged for the division. I believe we are now 5-0 against them this year. So critics...STFU already.
And Datsyuk is just astounding...what a well oiled Russian scoring machine! He should easily repeat as Selke, maybe creep into the Hart nominees...he needs to give his twin (Zetts) a kick in the ass. If that guy expects 8 million a year, he better get his shit together.
10 days without smokes. Hells yes! Today, I saw my old pal at his bar. He beckoned to the rear to go for a smoke. I followed grudgingly, flashes in my head of myself accepting a cigarette with absolutely no attempt at refusing it. "Just one won't hurt..." I thought to myself, or "I kinda deserve a reward..." Fuck that. I stood my ground and explained I'm 10 days in, and thanks but no thanks. It was a proud moment.
My workout went great yesterday, and I really felt exhausted afterwards. But due to my body type, inability to easily gain weight and my ridiculous super duper mambo tango foxtrot warp speed metabolism, I think I need to step it up a notch still. I should probably push until I can't even lift my arms to drive home...we'll see. But I gotta step it up to see the real progress. Otherwise, it's gonna be a long, winding, uphill road. But I am eating like a horse so that's good. Two shakes today, each @ 1000+ calories. Some chicken parmesignian (Tiff please correct my spelling, I'm too lazy to look it up) with spaghetti, a hot dog, a cheeseburger, a chicken wrap, an orange (one so far), some more chicken later on...man I'm a beast.
I think tomorrow, I shall play some poker. I could go to Calgary, but meh. There's plenty of money to be won right here. Why bother driving in these shit conditions? I'm itching to play. There is a constant thought wearing on my mind lately...when will my winrate subside? When will I fall off this cloud of never-ending monster sessions? I'm just worried the variance monster is going to tear a chunk off my ass...I just wanna be prepared and handle it right. I wish I could just keep winning though...it feels great. Who knows, perhaps I will. Maybe I'm just that awesome...
Anyways, I should cut it short. I need sleep. I also need some time to relax, and think. To come up with something to write about, and gain back my natural flow. I've been getting home late, spending a lot of time on the phone and distractions are ever-present. But I intend to keep writing this blog, as it is a good outlet of stress for me, and I just really enjoy it. And soon, I'm going to make a feeble attempt at writing a short story. Stay tuned!
Mak is kneading my effin' stomach and it hurts. Time to trim the claws you chubby bastard! Speaking of, he keeps trying to drink my BEEFCAKE juice! Dear Lord, could you imagine if Mak ingested a shake that's designed to help a human pack on pounds?
All Star break, the Wings fall to 5 pts behind the Sharks. I don't really care to be honest. Winning the conference means sweet fuck all. The President's Trophy is a useless trinket that often seems to curse it's winner. Although Detroit basically proved all stereotypical superstitions to be bullshit last year...but winning the division would be nice (and seems highly likely) to gain home ice for the first couple rounds. As usual, the critics said Detroit could not withstand the young and talented offensive onslaught of Chicago this year and would be challenged for the division. I believe we are now 5-0 against them this year. So critics...STFU already.
And Datsyuk is just astounding...what a well oiled Russian scoring machine! He should easily repeat as Selke, maybe creep into the Hart nominees...he needs to give his twin (Zetts) a kick in the ass. If that guy expects 8 million a year, he better get his shit together.
10 days without smokes. Hells yes! Today, I saw my old pal at his bar. He beckoned to the rear to go for a smoke. I followed grudgingly, flashes in my head of myself accepting a cigarette with absolutely no attempt at refusing it. "Just one won't hurt..." I thought to myself, or "I kinda deserve a reward..." Fuck that. I stood my ground and explained I'm 10 days in, and thanks but no thanks. It was a proud moment.
My workout went great yesterday, and I really felt exhausted afterwards. But due to my body type, inability to easily gain weight and my ridiculous super duper mambo tango foxtrot warp speed metabolism, I think I need to step it up a notch still. I should probably push until I can't even lift my arms to drive home...we'll see. But I gotta step it up to see the real progress. Otherwise, it's gonna be a long, winding, uphill road. But I am eating like a horse so that's good. Two shakes today, each @ 1000+ calories. Some chicken parmesignian (Tiff please correct my spelling, I'm too lazy to look it up) with spaghetti, a hot dog, a cheeseburger, a chicken wrap, an orange (one so far), some more chicken later on...man I'm a beast.
I think tomorrow, I shall play some poker. I could go to Calgary, but meh. There's plenty of money to be won right here. Why bother driving in these shit conditions? I'm itching to play. There is a constant thought wearing on my mind lately...when will my winrate subside? When will I fall off this cloud of never-ending monster sessions? I'm just worried the variance monster is going to tear a chunk off my ass...I just wanna be prepared and handle it right. I wish I could just keep winning though...it feels great. Who knows, perhaps I will. Maybe I'm just that awesome...
Anyways, I should cut it short. I need sleep. I also need some time to relax, and think. To come up with something to write about, and gain back my natural flow. I've been getting home late, spending a lot of time on the phone and distractions are ever-present. But I intend to keep writing this blog, as it is a good outlet of stress for me, and I just really enjoy it. And soon, I'm going to make a feeble attempt at writing a short story. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
No Line On The Horizon
I totally forgot to mention yesterday...I finally heard the much anticipated (at least by me and other rabid U2 fans) new U2 single "Get On Your Boots."
All I can say is wow...Bono never ceases to amaze me/take me by surprise. It is the funkiest shit I have heard in years...especially coming from the likes of an Irish rock band. At first, I just sat there, unsure of what I was really hearing, deciding whether I should even believe it. Then I listened to it another 4-5 times in a row. And it really grows on you! I can honestly say I really like it, and I am very impressed with this new angle. I appreciate the fact that U2 tries to branch off and try new things all the time. This time, it seems they are trying to get back to their roots a bit more. Or so people say. That's a big risk for band like them to take...they certainly don't write music to appeal to the masses or the MTV crowd (pump out club hits/music videos). Many considered 'Pop' to be an experiment gone wrong. It's easily one of my favorite U2 albums, possibly my absolute favorite. I cannot wait to hear the rest of the album!
It's like the opposite of Nickelback. I appreciate the fact they are Alberta boys, who write their own music and play their own instruments. And shit...when they first came out, they were so real (well some of it). They wrote songs about Grow Ops, and doing mushrooms, breaking into their school when they were young. "Gotta Be Somebody" Are you fucking kidding me? They sold out sooo bad, and are getting so lame, it's unbearable. I was never a huge fan, but I like some of the old stuff.
I meant to post a larger blog tonight. On Monday, I wrote the first half of yesterday's and then went for supper. Came back and wasn't on the same train of thought, but added on/finished the rest. It seemed incomplete or forced to me. No natural flow. I am too tired to write in detail tonight either...but I will be back to normal soon. :)
I had my best bowflex workout tonight in my opinion. I got through my whole set of exercises twice, worked out to be almost exactly 45 mins. I am using an amount of weight for each exercise that isn't too hard to do, but is still pushing me, and causing some strain late into the reps. After I got through all of it tonight, I was burning and exhausted. Feels great! Just gotta keep it up.
Well over 9 days and counting smoke free. Can you dig it? CAAAAAAN YOUUUU DIG IT?!?!?! Cuz I sure as fuck can! Anyways, I need sleep. Peace out, A town.
All I can say is wow...Bono never ceases to amaze me/take me by surprise. It is the funkiest shit I have heard in years...especially coming from the likes of an Irish rock band. At first, I just sat there, unsure of what I was really hearing, deciding whether I should even believe it. Then I listened to it another 4-5 times in a row. And it really grows on you! I can honestly say I really like it, and I am very impressed with this new angle. I appreciate the fact that U2 tries to branch off and try new things all the time. This time, it seems they are trying to get back to their roots a bit more. Or so people say. That's a big risk for band like them to take...they certainly don't write music to appeal to the masses or the MTV crowd (pump out club hits/music videos). Many considered 'Pop' to be an experiment gone wrong. It's easily one of my favorite U2 albums, possibly my absolute favorite. I cannot wait to hear the rest of the album!
It's like the opposite of Nickelback. I appreciate the fact they are Alberta boys, who write their own music and play their own instruments. And shit...when they first came out, they were so real (well some of it). They wrote songs about Grow Ops, and doing mushrooms, breaking into their school when they were young. "Gotta Be Somebody" Are you fucking kidding me? They sold out sooo bad, and are getting so lame, it's unbearable. I was never a huge fan, but I like some of the old stuff.
I meant to post a larger blog tonight. On Monday, I wrote the first half of yesterday's and then went for supper. Came back and wasn't on the same train of thought, but added on/finished the rest. It seemed incomplete or forced to me. No natural flow. I am too tired to write in detail tonight either...but I will be back to normal soon. :)
I had my best bowflex workout tonight in my opinion. I got through my whole set of exercises twice, worked out to be almost exactly 45 mins. I am using an amount of weight for each exercise that isn't too hard to do, but is still pushing me, and causing some strain late into the reps. After I got through all of it tonight, I was burning and exhausted. Feels great! Just gotta keep it up.
Well over 9 days and counting smoke free. Can you dig it? CAAAAAAN YOUUUU DIG IT?!?!?! Cuz I sure as fuck can! Anyways, I need sleep. Peace out, A town.
Monday, January 19, 2009
All Apologies
"What else could I be? All apologies. What else can I say? Everyone is gay."
I would like to apologize.
I realize, through the past several months, I have been a burden. I used to consider myself a very good listener. I felt I was always there for a friend when they needed it. And in recent times, I've let my own problems overcome me so much, that I forget that other people have problems too.
It's time to man the fuck up.
I don't know why I sometimes have such a hard time dealing with things. People have been there for me from the beginning, throughout, and still. Some more than others. I appreciate all the listening, advice, shoulders to cry on, etc. Sometimes, I get carried away. The main reason, I think, is because it often feels like things are beyond my control, and when I try to move forward with my life, I get taken advantage of. Sometimes I feel claustrophobic, or trapped. This repetition has caused me to dwell, and be incredibly bitter.
But alas...I feel better now. For real this time. I mean it. I've talked with some people over the last day or two who are very close to me. And although it's been right there in front of me for a long time, I failed to see or do what I need to do. I kept finding excuses or reasons for me to fail. No more. It would seem we are seeing relatively eye to eye on the house now, so if things can work out reasonably, it should all be ok.
Then I can spend the summer shotgunnin' Pilsners, playing cards and enjoying the scenery. Good times lie ahead. I know it in my heart. I must believe it. I must realize it now. Gratitude is one of the most important things in everyday life. You must be grateful for everything you have, and everything you want, as if you already have it. And never take anything for granted. It's the hardest lesson to learn.
Enough of that shit.
8 dartless days and nights. That's where I'm at. Still going pretty well as far as I can tell. Sometimes, I barely think about it. That's a very good sign. I'm bowflexing quite regularly, my diet is slowly getting better and better. The shakes are becoming second nature. Results are soon to follow. Can't wait.
Red fucking Dragons!
Oh yes, and last night, I had the pleasure of seeing a couple old friends. Lee and Jason, some buddies of mine were in the area for work yesterday. They were nice enough to give me a call and invite me out for supper, perhaps to be followed by some cards. How can I say no to that? :)
So after a heavy assed meal at Mr. Mike's (thanks guys), Lee and I headed over to the Casino. Jason had to do a bit of work at the hotel, and came a bit later. Well well...
I don't typically play on weeknights, and it was very quiet. We were on the second table of 2 I believe, and it never did fill to capacity. Started out losing about $70 to my personal ATM. What a donk. Then I remembered...just wait til I have a hand. He always pays...
Sure enough, I stacked him a little while later. After my first little bump in the road, I powered my way back above starting stack and never looked back. Had a couple big hands run over, but made some nice lay downs and exerted some pot control when I was unsure of where I was at. Got pocket J's about 30 times last night haha...in the end, I went on a nice heater, flopped like 3 sets in 10 minutes, got paid almost everytime. Got value out of plenty of flushes. I won't get into too much hand detail right now. But it turned out to be my best session ever (aside from one Vegas one). +$1290 on the night. :D
So for the year, $515 and $1290 puts me at $1805. Not too shabby. Unfortunately, I'm a realist and I know I can't expect to keep up this constant win rate. But I'll take it. Time to ride the wave for a bit. Hopefully it carries through to Vegas. :D
Perhaps I'll write more later. I have to head into Red Deer for a bit...stupid weather.
Latah
P.S. Sorry it took a while to get this blog up! Two days without, and readers were going insane! :P
I would like to apologize.
I realize, through the past several months, I have been a burden. I used to consider myself a very good listener. I felt I was always there for a friend when they needed it. And in recent times, I've let my own problems overcome me so much, that I forget that other people have problems too.
It's time to man the fuck up.
I don't know why I sometimes have such a hard time dealing with things. People have been there for me from the beginning, throughout, and still. Some more than others. I appreciate all the listening, advice, shoulders to cry on, etc. Sometimes, I get carried away. The main reason, I think, is because it often feels like things are beyond my control, and when I try to move forward with my life, I get taken advantage of. Sometimes I feel claustrophobic, or trapped. This repetition has caused me to dwell, and be incredibly bitter.
But alas...I feel better now. For real this time. I mean it. I've talked with some people over the last day or two who are very close to me. And although it's been right there in front of me for a long time, I failed to see or do what I need to do. I kept finding excuses or reasons for me to fail. No more. It would seem we are seeing relatively eye to eye on the house now, so if things can work out reasonably, it should all be ok.
Then I can spend the summer shotgunnin' Pilsners, playing cards and enjoying the scenery. Good times lie ahead. I know it in my heart. I must believe it. I must realize it now. Gratitude is one of the most important things in everyday life. You must be grateful for everything you have, and everything you want, as if you already have it. And never take anything for granted. It's the hardest lesson to learn.
Enough of that shit.
8 dartless days and nights. That's where I'm at. Still going pretty well as far as I can tell. Sometimes, I barely think about it. That's a very good sign. I'm bowflexing quite regularly, my diet is slowly getting better and better. The shakes are becoming second nature. Results are soon to follow. Can't wait.
Red fucking Dragons!
Oh yes, and last night, I had the pleasure of seeing a couple old friends. Lee and Jason, some buddies of mine were in the area for work yesterday. They were nice enough to give me a call and invite me out for supper, perhaps to be followed by some cards. How can I say no to that? :)
So after a heavy assed meal at Mr. Mike's (thanks guys), Lee and I headed over to the Casino. Jason had to do a bit of work at the hotel, and came a bit later. Well well...
I don't typically play on weeknights, and it was very quiet. We were on the second table of 2 I believe, and it never did fill to capacity. Started out losing about $70 to my personal ATM. What a donk. Then I remembered...just wait til I have a hand. He always pays...
Sure enough, I stacked him a little while later. After my first little bump in the road, I powered my way back above starting stack and never looked back. Had a couple big hands run over, but made some nice lay downs and exerted some pot control when I was unsure of where I was at. Got pocket J's about 30 times last night haha...in the end, I went on a nice heater, flopped like 3 sets in 10 minutes, got paid almost everytime. Got value out of plenty of flushes. I won't get into too much hand detail right now. But it turned out to be my best session ever (aside from one Vegas one). +$1290 on the night. :D
So for the year, $515 and $1290 puts me at $1805. Not too shabby. Unfortunately, I'm a realist and I know I can't expect to keep up this constant win rate. But I'll take it. Time to ride the wave for a bit. Hopefully it carries through to Vegas. :D
Perhaps I'll write more later. I have to head into Red Deer for a bit...stupid weather.
Latah
P.S. Sorry it took a while to get this blog up! Two days without, and readers were going insane! :P
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Random Thoughts
I enjoy this blog. Maybe too much. I almost feel obligated to write as often as possible, so as not to disappoint my avid readers. But wait...are there even any avid readers? Does anyone read it? I don't even know. I have only two official followers, and no offense but I have my doubts they have even looked for a few days! :P Nonetheless, it keeps me entertained and its kinda fun. So whatevs.
I should be in bed right now. I have to get up early to go see my granny for her birthday brunch. But I decided to play poker like a hero til very late last night, and enjoyed a nice full morning in bed, creeping into the afternoon. So now, I am not tired. With Maki by my side, the background noise of a meaningless hockey game fills the room. Bella perches on the top of the loveseat, several feet away, eyeing us suspiciously. She almost appears to be going over some diabolical plot in her mind...ok maybe I'm getting carried away. Or just delirious. Who knows?
I am quite looking forward to Vegas this February. That will be 4 trips to Vegas in less than one calendar year. Gee, I wonder what my favorite vacation spot is? To be honest, I have no desire to go anywhere else. Well not immediately. Of course there are many places in the world I would love and plan to see. But Vegas will suffice for now. Should be a fun group to travel with. Hopefully, there will be many great meals, laughs, drunken debauchery, prop betting...and of course, a lot of poker. It's going to be skandalouz timez...during Spring Break if my memory serves me correct. Should be lots of young people there partying. Plenty of prospects...I think we might go fire some AK47's at the shooting range. Maybe I will get a tattoo. Or visit Carey Hart at his nightclub.
Pumped the bowflex a little harder tonight. Felt some burn. But my workout was in such disarray. I need to get much more organized. I actually figured out how to set up the machine for some exercises. But I forgot a few that B taught me. I think I need to formulate a plan. Certain exercises, specific weights, a planned number of reps. Instead of just lifting til I hurt, haha. We shall see. I never did weigh in yet, or take any before pics. Too bad, because I'm already ripped. I look like a tri-athlete when I look in the mirror. :) Seriously though, it's not that I'm complete skin and bones, and certainly not fat. Just lean. Extra lean. More so then that extra lean ground beef you can buy at Safeway. Which isn't so bad I guess. But I'd prefer to put on a little weight.
I am soooo fucking excited. U2's new single "Get Your Boots On" comes out on Monday. Album to follow in early February. These bastards take their sweet ass time between albums. The last one was a bit of a disappointment, but they haven't put out many bad albums. And critics, producers, the band...everyone is raving. Apparently, they've truly hit stride now. I can't wait. If this compares at all to Achtung Baby, Unforgettable Fire, or some of their other great eras, I'm going to be very happy. Depeche Mode also has a new album coming out in the not too distant future. Should be interesting. Speaking of, I saw an 'Econoline Crush' song playing on a Satellite music channel last night. Where the fuck have those guys been for 10 years? And what do they think releasing a shitty new single is going to do for them at this point? Ugh...
Wings had a lead, but managed to allow 6 goals against San Jose. Nice job defense. Isn't Lidstrom the best defenseman in the league? If so, along with the other talent, doesn't that make them one of the best defense cores in the league? Logic would suggest the goals against average for the team would be reasonable. But it's not. And I'm starting to get pissed off. They should fire Babcock and hire me to coach. I'd bench all those pricks and call up some young prospects. Maybe then, the veterans would actually care. Lazy, overpaid assholes.
I wonder why people phone me at 3:30am? Just to chat? Or are there underlying intentions...I don't know. If you are reading my blog, please explain. :P
Anyways, I should get to bed. It's going to be a rough morning. But I'm just as tough as Russell Crowe. I would throw a phone at a photographer's head too! That's pretty bone thugs in my opinion.
Well until next time...tah tah (or however you spell it).
I should be in bed right now. I have to get up early to go see my granny for her birthday brunch. But I decided to play poker like a hero til very late last night, and enjoyed a nice full morning in bed, creeping into the afternoon. So now, I am not tired. With Maki by my side, the background noise of a meaningless hockey game fills the room. Bella perches on the top of the loveseat, several feet away, eyeing us suspiciously. She almost appears to be going over some diabolical plot in her mind...ok maybe I'm getting carried away. Or just delirious. Who knows?
I am quite looking forward to Vegas this February. That will be 4 trips to Vegas in less than one calendar year. Gee, I wonder what my favorite vacation spot is? To be honest, I have no desire to go anywhere else. Well not immediately. Of course there are many places in the world I would love and plan to see. But Vegas will suffice for now. Should be a fun group to travel with. Hopefully, there will be many great meals, laughs, drunken debauchery, prop betting...and of course, a lot of poker. It's going to be skandalouz timez...during Spring Break if my memory serves me correct. Should be lots of young people there partying. Plenty of prospects...I think we might go fire some AK47's at the shooting range. Maybe I will get a tattoo. Or visit Carey Hart at his nightclub.
Pumped the bowflex a little harder tonight. Felt some burn. But my workout was in such disarray. I need to get much more organized. I actually figured out how to set up the machine for some exercises. But I forgot a few that B taught me. I think I need to formulate a plan. Certain exercises, specific weights, a planned number of reps. Instead of just lifting til I hurt, haha. We shall see. I never did weigh in yet, or take any before pics. Too bad, because I'm already ripped. I look like a tri-athlete when I look in the mirror. :) Seriously though, it's not that I'm complete skin and bones, and certainly not fat. Just lean. Extra lean. More so then that extra lean ground beef you can buy at Safeway. Which isn't so bad I guess. But I'd prefer to put on a little weight.
I am soooo fucking excited. U2's new single "Get Your Boots On" comes out on Monday. Album to follow in early February. These bastards take their sweet ass time between albums. The last one was a bit of a disappointment, but they haven't put out many bad albums. And critics, producers, the band...everyone is raving. Apparently, they've truly hit stride now. I can't wait. If this compares at all to Achtung Baby, Unforgettable Fire, or some of their other great eras, I'm going to be very happy. Depeche Mode also has a new album coming out in the not too distant future. Should be interesting. Speaking of, I saw an 'Econoline Crush' song playing on a Satellite music channel last night. Where the fuck have those guys been for 10 years? And what do they think releasing a shitty new single is going to do for them at this point? Ugh...
Wings had a lead, but managed to allow 6 goals against San Jose. Nice job defense. Isn't Lidstrom the best defenseman in the league? If so, along with the other talent, doesn't that make them one of the best defense cores in the league? Logic would suggest the goals against average for the team would be reasonable. But it's not. And I'm starting to get pissed off. They should fire Babcock and hire me to coach. I'd bench all those pricks and call up some young prospects. Maybe then, the veterans would actually care. Lazy, overpaid assholes.
I wonder why people phone me at 3:30am? Just to chat? Or are there underlying intentions...I don't know. If you are reading my blog, please explain. :P
Anyways, I should get to bed. It's going to be a rough morning. But I'm just as tough as Russell Crowe. I would throw a phone at a photographer's head too! That's pretty bone thugs in my opinion.
Well until next time...tah tah (or however you spell it).
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Feeling Mutated
Originally, I thought this blog would just be an easy way to monitor my progress but I enjoy writing it much more than I thought. Hence the reason I discuss other subjects such as hockey, poker, etc. I apologize to those who do not understand/care about poker. I could start a new blog for poker only, but that's just getting out of control. To be honest, for some people who do not truly understand poker, are interested, want to learn, or believe I am just a degenerate gambler...perhaps some of these writings will open your minds and explain why poker has become a part of me.
So going forward, I think the blog will be pretty random. Beefcake, poker, free basing (lol JK), whatever. The subject of each blog will always be a surprise. And I've received some positive feedback so far and I really appreciate it. I'm glad y'all enjoy it. :)
WARNING: Next bit will be about poker. :)
I've been learning that game selection is a very important part of poker. Now, not that I'm not a good player or that I am afraid of the 'Main Table...' But typically, I find the main game in Red Deer gets quite ridiculous. I don't feel my bankroll is quite ready to take the massive swings that may be associated with that game. Preflop raises get ridiculous, with almost everyone calling, and it truly does become a bit more like gambling, and a bit less poker/skill. So I tend to stick with the secondary tables, where I'm usually seated at the beginning. Usually, a few regulars migrate to the main game, and I'm left with all the people who really don't know what they are doing. There is always more money on the table at the main game, but usually the secondary table is sufficient.
I enjoy classifying the players in my head.
There's Bob, the old man, who will try to limp in with 95% of the hands he is dealt, and will often call preflop raises with what he likes to call "Two real nice cards." Last night, with him on my right, I had to listen to him bitch about every hand he had and folded. There are a few old guys that fall into this category. Weak, passive, calling stations. When they raise, as rare as that may be, look out. These players, you do not bluff, and you always bet for value. They really have no idea what they are doing, and frankly, I don't know why they bother.
There is the sneaky Asian guy. Not to be stereotypical, but Asians tend to have some gamble in them. Most of them are pretty solid players too. There might be a few sub categories of players within the Asian spectrum. A lot of them play very loose, trying to see as many flops as they can, often raising with questionable holdings, but preventing you from ever knowing what they really have. Loose-aggressive is usually what classification they fall under. These are the kind of players you try to trap.
There are other types I will get into another time.
So last night, after writing that ridiculously long, detailed description of how I loss a massive pot, I went to play poker. Fucking ROCKED Death Magnetic the whole way there, feeling pretty pumped when I arrived. Since when am I a Metallica fan? I have to say, I really thought those guys were done, but they put out an awesome album. I thoroughly enjoy it.
Anyways, with My Apocalypse resonating through my skull, I walked in and was seated immediately. Scouted out the table. There's one younger guy who obviously thinks he's an allstar. I've played with him a fair amount. He's a pretty solid player, but at times a bit cocky. First hand I am dealt, I look down at 2 black Kowboys (slang for pocket Kings). Are you kidding me? Has my life actually become Rounders? (Rounders is a poker movie starring Matt Damon which catapulted me into the world of poker)
Dude had straddled, meaning he posted a $5 raise blind, before even getting dealt his cards. Why you ask? Well the point of straddling is, instead of having to act first, everyone else acts having to put in $5 to stay or having the option to raise. It takes away the awkwardness of playing a hand in first position. Really though, most of the time you are just throwing away $5 or calling a raise with a sub-standard hand feeling obligated to 'defend your straddle.' If you should happen to get a big hand after everyone has acted, there is now a bunch of money in the pot with you being able to raise and take it away now. Many aggressive players such as himself will raise any two cards in that spot, hoping to take the dead money in the pot, or isolate a weaker player so they can out play them post-flop.
I decided to play risky, and check my option, just calling the $5. Several players did so, and as predicted, dude raises to $30. He may actually have a hand, but I know it's very likely I have him smashed, along with everyone else at the table. People grumble and fold, and I immediately pop it to $75. Folds to him, and he goes into his hero routine. Trying to talk to me, asking if I've had a few wobbly pops since I raise so large my first hand. He decides not to just give me his $30 and calls. Flop comes all low cards, I push all in and he folds, obviously miffed.
That was easy. Good start. Anyways, the night progressed, I bought in for about $200, got up to about $300, and then slowly dropped down til I busted when missing a flushdraw. I rebought, and immediately won a large pot when I straddled, flopped a big draw, and doubled up. Things started going well, and I was building a stack.
The next thing that happened was sick. I get JJ in early position, raising to $16. A few callers, and an Asian guy in the blinds min-raises me to $32. What did I say about min-raising my raises?? ACES! I call, visualizing a Jack on the flop. Sure enough, the window card is the Jack of Diamonds. Along with an 8, and an Ace. Now if he has a hand like AK, this is a dream flop. At this point, I begin to think my hand is immortal and bet out $75. Folds to him, and he attempts to move all in, but breaks several casino rules in the process (string bet) and they force him to just call. By this time, I have forgotten that he might have 3 Aces, and based on his aggressive action, makes it less likely. He pushes all in on the turn (for about $260 if I recall) and I call. River is another Ace. Hmmm, now it's really unlikely he has AA. I turn over my full house, expecting to win a monstrous pot. He flips over AA for 4 of a fucking kind. Are you kidding me?!?!?
Note: He had the best hand the whole time, and I do not blame him. In fact, he played it quite well, although if I did not have a big hand, he would not have gotten a lot of action. Perhaps some of you are familiar with the Bad Beat concept? If it had been a Jack on the river, giving me 4 of a kind, and him a full house, he would have won $10,000, I would have won $5000, and everyone else at the table would have won somewhere between $600-$800 each. Instead, he wins a huge pot, I lose a shit load, and everyone else is in disbelief.
No more details. I perservered, nursing my small stack back to about $915 by the end of the night. So I ended up +$515 for the session. I cannot complain about being card dead, since I had AA 3 times that I recall, KK twice, among several other good hands. Aces and Kings held up 4/5 times, and one time, I actually folded my Aces on the turn, when facing aggressive action from a relatively solid Asian player on a K K Q x board. I may have had him, but I can find more certain spots to put my money in the pot. Good night all around, but man that hand choked me.
Speaking of that sick hand, I think my body's desire for nicotine increased about 700% at the moment he flipped over his hand. I took it surprisingly well though, not even punching the dealer in the face! I'm kidding, I would never blame the dealer for something like this happening. :)
Yeah so I stayed up pretty late, but had a successful night. Kind of effed up my day for today. I have not been feeling very well this afternoon, so I decided not to go skating with the boys. :( I'll probably just chill out, watch some hockey, and pound some protein into my system. These late nights really screw up the routine. I'll likely head over to D & B's tonight for another Bowflex routine, pushing myself much harder this time. I need to feel the burn. I crave the burn. I YEARN to burn! :) A few months down the road, I'm going to knock out Floyd Mayweather. :P
As I type, a sandpaper tongue bathes my arm. Not sure why Mak seems to think I need his help bathing. Bella is usually the one who might from time to time, leave a stray turd hanging out LOL. These bundles of fur just won't leave my side these days. Not that I don't enjoy their company, but it's tough to type with Mak's bulbous body draped over my arm. ;)
Back to smoking. Just about at 5 full days, or 120 hrs. So far so good. Last night, I thought it was nice not to have to leave the table to go and inhale a vast mixture of chemicals which degrade my lungs while leaving the money available at the table for others to take. :) But I realize for next time, I still need to get up once in a while and walk around, stretch, etc. You get a bit sore if sitting there too long. I powered my protein shake back on the way to the Casino. My energy levels were high for a while, but fatigue set in eventually. Loads of water, and perhaps occasionally allowing myself a treat like a complimentary Coca Cola in the poker room should help battle that. They usually bring in free Pizza around 2-3am, and they have a menu, as well as a few snacks available. I would bring my own trail mix or something, but there are some dirty people, and everyone handles the chips. Yuck.
Beefcaking is going ok thus far, but it's easy to stray from my routines. A screwed up night of sleep really messes with scheduling. I think rather than consuming two shakes today, I may just have an extra strong one. I dunno...well I should probably make myself a nice, heavy protein filled meal right now.
I wish I had more to talk about, other than poker. But frankly, the other aspects that used to fill my day are now gone, and I am constantly searching for something (or someone) to fill that void. It's far from easy. In fact, it's quite difficult. Although much time has elapsed, there are still unresolved issues and a lot of associated stress/pressure laid unfairly upon me. It really pisses me off sometimes. But I have to realize that I am, in fact, the better person. And I will deal with it as best I can. As for other aspects, well...I am progressing. Time heals all wounds, they say. How much time? Because I don't have that much to spare! LOL I'm sure very soon, all this will be well behind me. But a scar will remain. To serve as a reminder, and to help me learn going forward.
As James Hetfield said in 'Broken, Beaten and Scarred': "What don't kill ya' make ya' more strong!"
This is a motto my favorite radio host, Jason Ellis lives by, and I think anyone can relate to their life. Sometimes it fucking hurts. You get knocked down. You bleed. But you can get up. You have to. And when you do, each time, you'll be a little stronger. You'll know a little more. It's very hard to understand this concept or come to grips with it at times. I know. It's easy for everyone else to tell you everything will be ok. But somehow, someday...it will. Remember that when you are broken, beaten or scarred.
Peace out.
So going forward, I think the blog will be pretty random. Beefcake, poker, free basing (lol JK), whatever. The subject of each blog will always be a surprise. And I've received some positive feedback so far and I really appreciate it. I'm glad y'all enjoy it. :)
WARNING: Next bit will be about poker. :)
I've been learning that game selection is a very important part of poker. Now, not that I'm not a good player or that I am afraid of the 'Main Table...' But typically, I find the main game in Red Deer gets quite ridiculous. I don't feel my bankroll is quite ready to take the massive swings that may be associated with that game. Preflop raises get ridiculous, with almost everyone calling, and it truly does become a bit more like gambling, and a bit less poker/skill. So I tend to stick with the secondary tables, where I'm usually seated at the beginning. Usually, a few regulars migrate to the main game, and I'm left with all the people who really don't know what they are doing. There is always more money on the table at the main game, but usually the secondary table is sufficient.
I enjoy classifying the players in my head.
There's Bob, the old man, who will try to limp in with 95% of the hands he is dealt, and will often call preflop raises with what he likes to call "Two real nice cards." Last night, with him on my right, I had to listen to him bitch about every hand he had and folded. There are a few old guys that fall into this category. Weak, passive, calling stations. When they raise, as rare as that may be, look out. These players, you do not bluff, and you always bet for value. They really have no idea what they are doing, and frankly, I don't know why they bother.
There is the sneaky Asian guy. Not to be stereotypical, but Asians tend to have some gamble in them. Most of them are pretty solid players too. There might be a few sub categories of players within the Asian spectrum. A lot of them play very loose, trying to see as many flops as they can, often raising with questionable holdings, but preventing you from ever knowing what they really have. Loose-aggressive is usually what classification they fall under. These are the kind of players you try to trap.
There are other types I will get into another time.
So last night, after writing that ridiculously long, detailed description of how I loss a massive pot, I went to play poker. Fucking ROCKED Death Magnetic the whole way there, feeling pretty pumped when I arrived. Since when am I a Metallica fan? I have to say, I really thought those guys were done, but they put out an awesome album. I thoroughly enjoy it.
Anyways, with My Apocalypse resonating through my skull, I walked in and was seated immediately. Scouted out the table. There's one younger guy who obviously thinks he's an allstar. I've played with him a fair amount. He's a pretty solid player, but at times a bit cocky. First hand I am dealt, I look down at 2 black Kowboys (slang for pocket Kings). Are you kidding me? Has my life actually become Rounders? (Rounders is a poker movie starring Matt Damon which catapulted me into the world of poker)
Dude had straddled, meaning he posted a $5 raise blind, before even getting dealt his cards. Why you ask? Well the point of straddling is, instead of having to act first, everyone else acts having to put in $5 to stay or having the option to raise. It takes away the awkwardness of playing a hand in first position. Really though, most of the time you are just throwing away $5 or calling a raise with a sub-standard hand feeling obligated to 'defend your straddle.' If you should happen to get a big hand after everyone has acted, there is now a bunch of money in the pot with you being able to raise and take it away now. Many aggressive players such as himself will raise any two cards in that spot, hoping to take the dead money in the pot, or isolate a weaker player so they can out play them post-flop.
I decided to play risky, and check my option, just calling the $5. Several players did so, and as predicted, dude raises to $30. He may actually have a hand, but I know it's very likely I have him smashed, along with everyone else at the table. People grumble and fold, and I immediately pop it to $75. Folds to him, and he goes into his hero routine. Trying to talk to me, asking if I've had a few wobbly pops since I raise so large my first hand. He decides not to just give me his $30 and calls. Flop comes all low cards, I push all in and he folds, obviously miffed.
That was easy. Good start. Anyways, the night progressed, I bought in for about $200, got up to about $300, and then slowly dropped down til I busted when missing a flushdraw. I rebought, and immediately won a large pot when I straddled, flopped a big draw, and doubled up. Things started going well, and I was building a stack.
The next thing that happened was sick. I get JJ in early position, raising to $16. A few callers, and an Asian guy in the blinds min-raises me to $32. What did I say about min-raising my raises?? ACES! I call, visualizing a Jack on the flop. Sure enough, the window card is the Jack of Diamonds. Along with an 8, and an Ace. Now if he has a hand like AK, this is a dream flop. At this point, I begin to think my hand is immortal and bet out $75. Folds to him, and he attempts to move all in, but breaks several casino rules in the process (string bet) and they force him to just call. By this time, I have forgotten that he might have 3 Aces, and based on his aggressive action, makes it less likely. He pushes all in on the turn (for about $260 if I recall) and I call. River is another Ace. Hmmm, now it's really unlikely he has AA. I turn over my full house, expecting to win a monstrous pot. He flips over AA for 4 of a fucking kind. Are you kidding me?!?!?
Note: He had the best hand the whole time, and I do not blame him. In fact, he played it quite well, although if I did not have a big hand, he would not have gotten a lot of action. Perhaps some of you are familiar with the Bad Beat concept? If it had been a Jack on the river, giving me 4 of a kind, and him a full house, he would have won $10,000, I would have won $5000, and everyone else at the table would have won somewhere between $600-$800 each. Instead, he wins a huge pot, I lose a shit load, and everyone else is in disbelief.
No more details. I perservered, nursing my small stack back to about $915 by the end of the night. So I ended up +$515 for the session. I cannot complain about being card dead, since I had AA 3 times that I recall, KK twice, among several other good hands. Aces and Kings held up 4/5 times, and one time, I actually folded my Aces on the turn, when facing aggressive action from a relatively solid Asian player on a K K Q x board. I may have had him, but I can find more certain spots to put my money in the pot. Good night all around, but man that hand choked me.
Speaking of that sick hand, I think my body's desire for nicotine increased about 700% at the moment he flipped over his hand. I took it surprisingly well though, not even punching the dealer in the face! I'm kidding, I would never blame the dealer for something like this happening. :)
Yeah so I stayed up pretty late, but had a successful night. Kind of effed up my day for today. I have not been feeling very well this afternoon, so I decided not to go skating with the boys. :( I'll probably just chill out, watch some hockey, and pound some protein into my system. These late nights really screw up the routine. I'll likely head over to D & B's tonight for another Bowflex routine, pushing myself much harder this time. I need to feel the burn. I crave the burn. I YEARN to burn! :) A few months down the road, I'm going to knock out Floyd Mayweather. :P
As I type, a sandpaper tongue bathes my arm. Not sure why Mak seems to think I need his help bathing. Bella is usually the one who might from time to time, leave a stray turd hanging out LOL. These bundles of fur just won't leave my side these days. Not that I don't enjoy their company, but it's tough to type with Mak's bulbous body draped over my arm. ;)
Back to smoking. Just about at 5 full days, or 120 hrs. So far so good. Last night, I thought it was nice not to have to leave the table to go and inhale a vast mixture of chemicals which degrade my lungs while leaving the money available at the table for others to take. :) But I realize for next time, I still need to get up once in a while and walk around, stretch, etc. You get a bit sore if sitting there too long. I powered my protein shake back on the way to the Casino. My energy levels were high for a while, but fatigue set in eventually. Loads of water, and perhaps occasionally allowing myself a treat like a complimentary Coca Cola in the poker room should help battle that. They usually bring in free Pizza around 2-3am, and they have a menu, as well as a few snacks available. I would bring my own trail mix or something, but there are some dirty people, and everyone handles the chips. Yuck.
Beefcaking is going ok thus far, but it's easy to stray from my routines. A screwed up night of sleep really messes with scheduling. I think rather than consuming two shakes today, I may just have an extra strong one. I dunno...well I should probably make myself a nice, heavy protein filled meal right now.
I wish I had more to talk about, other than poker. But frankly, the other aspects that used to fill my day are now gone, and I am constantly searching for something (or someone) to fill that void. It's far from easy. In fact, it's quite difficult. Although much time has elapsed, there are still unresolved issues and a lot of associated stress/pressure laid unfairly upon me. It really pisses me off sometimes. But I have to realize that I am, in fact, the better person. And I will deal with it as best I can. As for other aspects, well...I am progressing. Time heals all wounds, they say. How much time? Because I don't have that much to spare! LOL I'm sure very soon, all this will be well behind me. But a scar will remain. To serve as a reminder, and to help me learn going forward.
As James Hetfield said in 'Broken, Beaten and Scarred': "What don't kill ya' make ya' more strong!"
This is a motto my favorite radio host, Jason Ellis lives by, and I think anyone can relate to their life. Sometimes it fucking hurts. You get knocked down. You bleed. But you can get up. You have to. And when you do, each time, you'll be a little stronger. You'll know a little more. It's very hard to understand this concept or come to grips with it at times. I know. It's easy for everyone else to tell you everything will be ok. But somehow, someday...it will. Remember that when you are broken, beaten or scarred.
Peace out.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Another Action Packed Friday Night! ZOMGWTF!!!!!!
9pm crept up pretty quickly this evening. In fact, pretty much every hour, day, night, week, etc. seems to blow by lately. I'm not impressed. I feel I've accomplished so little in the last while. I have some reasons, but mainly excuses, which I will not go into...
Anyways, I told myself I'd go play poker tonight. I mean, why the hell not? I win a lot more often than I lose, especially lately. I find, your 1/2 NL cash game skills are much sharper and more effective when you play regularly. In the last couple years, I'd be lucky to play a session every couple months. It'd either be a small win, or losing 2 buy ins. Not what I'm looking for. I've found over the last 6 months, especially since my trip to Vegas in August (where I probably played 12 hours a day for a week), my game has been much better. The week leading up to that trip, I played several sessions in Red Deer, with only one losing night, all of it in a MONSTER pot my last hand of the night...
2 Outer for the MothaF$%kin' Win...I remember this hand vividly. I don't really think my opponent played it that badly. Well, actually he sort of did. But it doesn't surprise me that he couldn't get away from it...your average player will not be able to fold Aces in hardly any situation.
I pick up 88 under the gun (one position before the big blind reaches you) which I had decided would be my last hand of the night. At this point, I was up a couple hundred. I raised to $15 if I recall. Table was shorthanded, relatively aggressive. Guy beside me, who was very quiet all night, only raising a handful of times minimum raises to $30.
This SCREEEEEEAMS "I have Aces and I think I'm fucking dope and I'm gonna be sneaky and minimum raise you to suck you in...I don't wanna scare you off...mwahaha! I have Aces!" Thanks for the info dude. <--- His first mistake of the hand.
Folds around to me if I remember correctly...don't matter, we were the two important characters in this hand. Or as I see it, me the protagonist, him the antagonist...I call.
Flop is 8 J K, with two clubs. Bingo! I check, knowing he will predictably throw out a continuation bet (or a value bet, thinking he has the best hand). I think he bet around $40. I hesistate at this point, trying to do my best Oscar worthy performance. I play with my chips, counting them out, pretending to ponder a call, while really I'm just think about Vegas and the fucking Mirage.
"$100." I announce. I raised. Two reasons. I believe he has Aces, and I know he will think they are best. He'll likely reraise me, probably all in. Against a good player, I would probably flat call here, making it look like I might be on a flush draw. That way, if a brick rolls off on the turn, I check raise this sucka for all his chips. Other reason is that there is a small chance this guy is holding AQ of clubs or something, meaning he could hit an inside straight or flush. Too many outs to slowplay. I doubt this though, as most bad players will not bet their draws this strongly.
"All in!" He says quickly, basically flying out of his chair. <--- His second mistake. He didn't even stop to think about what I might be holding, and the possibility that I have him beat. Not that I'm complaining. Typical newb reaction. DUUUHHH, I have Aces all in!!!!! Puurrrrfect...
At this point, my usual paranoia kicks in and I begin to think about the two possible hands that have me beat and if he has them. Does this dude have KK? Did he actually flop a set? Hell no. Well possibly, but I'm going with my gut, and putting him on Aces, and as if I'm gonna lay down a set anyway. And JJ is pretty unlikely too, based on his preflop min-reraise.
I insta-snap call. The table snaps out of their drunken stupor, becoming very interested to see our hands, and I'm assuming anyone paying remote attention knows his hand (if they are half decent). They are more curious to see what I have. Probably think I'm some donkey with a flush draw. Shhhhyeeahhh right!
"Do you have pocket Kings I ask?" The skinny black man nods, showing a toothy grin. I know he's lying. "Aces??" Sure enough, he turns over Aces. I fist pump, and begin to calculate my win for the night in my head. The dealer burns and turns...
The hideous Ace of spades rears its ugly head (about 4.4% chance of this happening, on the turn. Almost 9% for the turn or river).
Are you fucking shitting me? I summon all the strength I have to refrain from throwing the table across the room. "Nice hand sir." You fucking idiot...he didn't even think about what I might hold in my hand at any time. Obviously, I want him to make this play everytime. Because I will win the hand over 90% of the time. Unfortunately, this time, it was nearly my whole stack in play when I was on the losing end. Now I have 2% chance of hitting the last 8 in the deck which I do not. Good night you assholes.
Heh, sorry for the random super detailed poker hand. I figure someone like Tiff might appreciate this, as I'm sure there will be the occasional poker fanatic reading this blog. ;) I tried to explain it clearly enough that even those who do not play will understand what happened, how awesome I am, and how much of a lucky moron that person is, and how I wish I could have stayed later to win all my money back from him.
Anyways, 96 hours (or four days) has come and gone with smoking. And I ain't even trippin' foo! Still going strong. A few moments of annoyance today, but nothing too crazy. I really really wanted to punch the Terr-Cat in the head today. She is a department manager at Wal-Mart. Easily the most annoying, bitchy, self loathing, lazy and rude person I've ever met. I'm sure at night, she realizes that her life sucks, and how much of a failure she is, and instead of trying to change her life for the better and do what she wants, or trying to apply herself fully to her job and make the world a better place...she chooses to take out her frustration on everyone around her. I used to lip her off, or storm away. But now, I just make insanely sly comments, SOOOO sarcastic, she does not even realize what I am doing. I kind of have a talent for that. I then shower her with kindness, being extra polite and go on my way. I know it annoys the hell out of her. :)
Had my shake this morning. A lunch I don't really wanna talk about...lol. And two salmon fillets and a salad for supper. I will have another shake later tonight, and two oranges since I did not eat my first one. I think I'm still gonna go play tonight. I would take my shake to the poker table, but I don't wanna look like a douche bag.
I had my first bowflex workout last night. Brandi ensured we took it relatively easy, making sure I get used to the machine and not hurt myself. She must think I'm a real pansy because I felt just fine today! :) She'll need to push me a bit harder next time. Ron seems to think my arms should be shaking as I push that bar off my chest...we'll see. I might do it Vanilla Ice style...II the Extreme!
On a sidenote, Mak and Bella are so cute. I think those few weeks where I unwillingly abandoned them, it really took a toll. Probably more on me then them...or maybe equally bad. But since I've been back, the three of us have been closer than ever. Anytime I sit down on the couch, Mak attemps to wedge his chubby self between me and the laptop. Eventually, to his dismay and my light shoves, he just lays beside me with his head and paws on my lap. Bella randomly hurdles back and forth over top of the computer, eventually cuddling up beside Mak. They are always waiting for me to come home (probably in hopes that I give them some tuna or treats lol...). Mak has been sleeping beside me most of the time. I'm kinda sad that Bella usually sleeps in the living room on the couch. But not before harrassing me a bit when I go to bed. :) Sometimes, I wonder if they have abandonment fears? :( I hope not...or maybe I'm overthinking it. I'm not sure cats are that complex...but they are very interesting creatures with amazing personalities. You only get to see this side of them if you spend enough time interacting with them and building trust. Cats are very finnicky. If you don't like them or ignore them, they will reciprocate that to you. Although Mak has been known to love just about everyone...
Wow this entry is getting long. I better cut it off now. Red Wings are on a tear, 4-0 over the feeble LA Kings last night. And tomorrow should be a big test, facing the SJ Sharks in the HP Pavillion. The Sharks had been undefeated in the Shark Tank (in regulation), the ENTIRE season until the Shame...err I mean Flames of all teams, beat them last night. Good job Flamers. Hopefully, tomorrow will be loss #2 at home. :) We smoked them 6-0 last meeting at the Joe, so I'm sure revenge will be on their minds. But Datsyuk will light those punk ass tricks up! :D
RED DRAGONS!
Anyways, I told myself I'd go play poker tonight. I mean, why the hell not? I win a lot more often than I lose, especially lately. I find, your 1/2 NL cash game skills are much sharper and more effective when you play regularly. In the last couple years, I'd be lucky to play a session every couple months. It'd either be a small win, or losing 2 buy ins. Not what I'm looking for. I've found over the last 6 months, especially since my trip to Vegas in August (where I probably played 12 hours a day for a week), my game has been much better. The week leading up to that trip, I played several sessions in Red Deer, with only one losing night, all of it in a MONSTER pot my last hand of the night...
2 Outer for the MothaF$%kin' Win...I remember this hand vividly. I don't really think my opponent played it that badly. Well, actually he sort of did. But it doesn't surprise me that he couldn't get away from it...your average player will not be able to fold Aces in hardly any situation.
I pick up 88 under the gun (one position before the big blind reaches you) which I had decided would be my last hand of the night. At this point, I was up a couple hundred. I raised to $15 if I recall. Table was shorthanded, relatively aggressive. Guy beside me, who was very quiet all night, only raising a handful of times minimum raises to $30.
This SCREEEEEEAMS "I have Aces and I think I'm fucking dope and I'm gonna be sneaky and minimum raise you to suck you in...I don't wanna scare you off...mwahaha! I have Aces!" Thanks for the info dude. <--- His first mistake of the hand.
Folds around to me if I remember correctly...don't matter, we were the two important characters in this hand. Or as I see it, me the protagonist, him the antagonist...I call.
Flop is 8 J K, with two clubs. Bingo! I check, knowing he will predictably throw out a continuation bet (or a value bet, thinking he has the best hand). I think he bet around $40. I hesistate at this point, trying to do my best Oscar worthy performance. I play with my chips, counting them out, pretending to ponder a call, while really I'm just think about Vegas and the fucking Mirage.
"$100." I announce. I raised. Two reasons. I believe he has Aces, and I know he will think they are best. He'll likely reraise me, probably all in. Against a good player, I would probably flat call here, making it look like I might be on a flush draw. That way, if a brick rolls off on the turn, I check raise this sucka for all his chips. Other reason is that there is a small chance this guy is holding AQ of clubs or something, meaning he could hit an inside straight or flush. Too many outs to slowplay. I doubt this though, as most bad players will not bet their draws this strongly.
"All in!" He says quickly, basically flying out of his chair. <--- His second mistake. He didn't even stop to think about what I might be holding, and the possibility that I have him beat. Not that I'm complaining. Typical newb reaction. DUUUHHH, I have Aces all in!!!!! Puurrrrfect...
At this point, my usual paranoia kicks in and I begin to think about the two possible hands that have me beat and if he has them. Does this dude have KK? Did he actually flop a set? Hell no. Well possibly, but I'm going with my gut, and putting him on Aces, and as if I'm gonna lay down a set anyway. And JJ is pretty unlikely too, based on his preflop min-reraise.
I insta-snap call. The table snaps out of their drunken stupor, becoming very interested to see our hands, and I'm assuming anyone paying remote attention knows his hand (if they are half decent). They are more curious to see what I have. Probably think I'm some donkey with a flush draw. Shhhhyeeahhh right!
"Do you have pocket Kings I ask?" The skinny black man nods, showing a toothy grin. I know he's lying. "Aces??" Sure enough, he turns over Aces. I fist pump, and begin to calculate my win for the night in my head. The dealer burns and turns...
The hideous Ace of spades rears its ugly head (about 4.4% chance of this happening, on the turn. Almost 9% for the turn or river).
Are you fucking shitting me? I summon all the strength I have to refrain from throwing the table across the room. "Nice hand sir." You fucking idiot...he didn't even think about what I might hold in my hand at any time. Obviously, I want him to make this play everytime. Because I will win the hand over 90% of the time. Unfortunately, this time, it was nearly my whole stack in play when I was on the losing end. Now I have 2% chance of hitting the last 8 in the deck which I do not. Good night you assholes.
Heh, sorry for the random super detailed poker hand. I figure someone like Tiff might appreciate this, as I'm sure there will be the occasional poker fanatic reading this blog. ;) I tried to explain it clearly enough that even those who do not play will understand what happened, how awesome I am, and how much of a lucky moron that person is, and how I wish I could have stayed later to win all my money back from him.
Anyways, 96 hours (or four days) has come and gone with smoking. And I ain't even trippin' foo! Still going strong. A few moments of annoyance today, but nothing too crazy. I really really wanted to punch the Terr-Cat in the head today. She is a department manager at Wal-Mart. Easily the most annoying, bitchy, self loathing, lazy and rude person I've ever met. I'm sure at night, she realizes that her life sucks, and how much of a failure she is, and instead of trying to change her life for the better and do what she wants, or trying to apply herself fully to her job and make the world a better place...she chooses to take out her frustration on everyone around her. I used to lip her off, or storm away. But now, I just make insanely sly comments, SOOOO sarcastic, she does not even realize what I am doing. I kind of have a talent for that. I then shower her with kindness, being extra polite and go on my way. I know it annoys the hell out of her. :)
Had my shake this morning. A lunch I don't really wanna talk about...lol. And two salmon fillets and a salad for supper. I will have another shake later tonight, and two oranges since I did not eat my first one. I think I'm still gonna go play tonight. I would take my shake to the poker table, but I don't wanna look like a douche bag.
I had my first bowflex workout last night. Brandi ensured we took it relatively easy, making sure I get used to the machine and not hurt myself. She must think I'm a real pansy because I felt just fine today! :) She'll need to push me a bit harder next time. Ron seems to think my arms should be shaking as I push that bar off my chest...we'll see. I might do it Vanilla Ice style...II the Extreme!
On a sidenote, Mak and Bella are so cute. I think those few weeks where I unwillingly abandoned them, it really took a toll. Probably more on me then them...or maybe equally bad. But since I've been back, the three of us have been closer than ever. Anytime I sit down on the couch, Mak attemps to wedge his chubby self between me and the laptop. Eventually, to his dismay and my light shoves, he just lays beside me with his head and paws on my lap. Bella randomly hurdles back and forth over top of the computer, eventually cuddling up beside Mak. They are always waiting for me to come home (probably in hopes that I give them some tuna or treats lol...). Mak has been sleeping beside me most of the time. I'm kinda sad that Bella usually sleeps in the living room on the couch. But not before harrassing me a bit when I go to bed. :) Sometimes, I wonder if they have abandonment fears? :( I hope not...or maybe I'm overthinking it. I'm not sure cats are that complex...but they are very interesting creatures with amazing personalities. You only get to see this side of them if you spend enough time interacting with them and building trust. Cats are very finnicky. If you don't like them or ignore them, they will reciprocate that to you. Although Mak has been known to love just about everyone...
Wow this entry is getting long. I better cut it off now. Red Wings are on a tear, 4-0 over the feeble LA Kings last night. And tomorrow should be a big test, facing the SJ Sharks in the HP Pavillion. The Sharks had been undefeated in the Shark Tank (in regulation), the ENTIRE season until the Shame...err I mean Flames of all teams, beat them last night. Good job Flamers. Hopefully, tomorrow will be loss #2 at home. :) We smoked them 6-0 last meeting at the Joe, so I'm sure revenge will be on their minds. But Datsyuk will light those punk ass tricks up! :D
RED DRAGONS!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Yo Yo
So I am now well past the 72 hour mark...which was my first milestone to hit, in regards to quitting smoking. Some say quitting smoking is harder than quitting heroin. It sure as hell isn't easy. But somehow, I doubt that, since people are willing to suck a dirty old man's peepee/mug/kill for drugs, and I've yet to see someone do that for a cigarette (although it probably happens somewhere)! I find myself having chronological cravings. i.e. A particular point of my day when I usually smoke, or a certain part of my drive. Surprisingly, I'm not really missing the morning smokes/after meal smokes as much as I thought. This patch is pretty sweet IMO! :D Hopefully my lungs regenerate at a turbo charged rate now!
As for BEEFCAKE!?!?!??!?!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So far so good. I need to get all my shit together, in regards to being organized. I'm still eating my fruits, taking my vitamins/shakes, etc. I even had my first "real" workout today. But I still haven't weighed in or anything...oh well. Hopefully I'm feeling the burn tomorrow! The workout went pretty well. Even though I'm immensely lazy and out of shape, I felt I could have pushed a lot harder. Main thing is attempting to remember how to set up the machine for the different types of exercises! So far, I just listen to my trainer (sister in law Brandi)! :)
What else...my nephew got his orange belt in Karate and is beginning weapons training! Good for him, although it's a scary thought, to think of him wielding nunchukus! LOL I may go for a skate this weekend with my little nephs...should be fun. Probably head out to Cowtown for my grandma's birthday brunch, see some family. Likely gonna try and squeeze in a session or two of 1/2 at Cash in Red Deer, make some $crilla. Work out like a ma'fckin' madman! :P
But anyway, I should get to bed. And if you don't like it...I got 3 words for you:
GIT DEEZ BAWLS! (Happy 41st birthday LL Cool J)
As for BEEFCAKE!?!?!??!?!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So far so good. I need to get all my shit together, in regards to being organized. I'm still eating my fruits, taking my vitamins/shakes, etc. I even had my first "real" workout today. But I still haven't weighed in or anything...oh well. Hopefully I'm feeling the burn tomorrow! The workout went pretty well. Even though I'm immensely lazy and out of shape, I felt I could have pushed a lot harder. Main thing is attempting to remember how to set up the machine for the different types of exercises! So far, I just listen to my trainer (sister in law Brandi)! :)
What else...my nephew got his orange belt in Karate and is beginning weapons training! Good for him, although it's a scary thought, to think of him wielding nunchukus! LOL I may go for a skate this weekend with my little nephs...should be fun. Probably head out to Cowtown for my grandma's birthday brunch, see some family. Likely gonna try and squeeze in a session or two of 1/2 at Cash in Red Deer, make some $crilla. Work out like a ma'fckin' madman! :P
But anyway, I should get to bed. And if you don't like it...I got 3 words for you:
GIT DEEZ BAWLS! (Happy 41st birthday LL Cool J)
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
First Update
Alas, I have given up...
I keed, I keed! :P
So far so good. It's getting late and I need some sleep but I'll do a quick update.
Goal 1: Quit Smoking
It's actually gone surprisingly well. The patch is definitely an effective tool in the fight against smoking. Sometimes I can actually feel it on my body and it's sort of a strange/irritating feeling, but meh...small price to pay. My physical cravings are almost non-existant. The only issue thus far, has been a few habitual temptations. Mainly when I'm at a certain point in my day where I ALWAYS smoke a cigarette. But then I realize smoking sucks, and I smile and move on. It feels really good. I know it's early, but I still feel very positive. Most of my quitting attempts have ended in 3 to 18 hours...LOL I'm pushing 50 hours and feelin' fine! :)
I feel the milestone levels will be 3 days, 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 1 month, etc. I've heard 3 weeks is the key goal to reach. Time to keep rockin' it down. I'm a bit sad that I won't be able to smoke 30 Marlboros a day while I'm in Vegas this February... :( But then again, usually upon my return from the USA, my lungs feel on the verge of exploding!
Goal 2: BEEFCAKE!!!!!!!
Well I never did get around to an official weigh in...but I probably still will even though there might have been some change. I'm sure I've powered back 8000 calories in the last couple days hahaha! Very little exercise thus far as well. But I doubt there has been much physical change so I will prob snap some before photos, etc.
The shakes are not nearly as bad as I thought. I took the first one straight up water and powder. Shaken. It certainly wasn't the most tasty thing on earth. But I spoke with my personal trainer/adviser (Ron $$$), and he said "Fuck that." Apparently, I should be using the blender I bought, using milk instead of water, throwing in a banana, a few scoops of peanut butter, etc. So I have been doing that, and it's certainly much better. Actually quite tasty. And even more calories with all those goodies! Even Maki likes it, and keeps trying to drink some! Makaveli is my cat, for those of you who don't know him.
So I've probably increased my calorie intake vastly, with the shakes alone. I've also had a couple nice 10+ oz. Ribeyes, and a few other tasty treats. I've been eating two oranges a day, which is destroying my previous Vitamin C intake levels. The vitamins are going well, although the fish oil pills cause some interesting burps hehe...
Thus far for "working out", I've only started doing some curls, pushups, etc. Not much, but a start. Soon I will get my sister in law to whip my ass into shape on the bowflex.
Anyways, so far so good. :)
From time to time, I will probably blog about other shit. Poker, women, the Red Wings, my cats, etc.
Side note, Detroit came from behind tonight in the third for a 4-3 victory over the over rated Might Dicks of Anaheim. 7 wins in the last 8 games with one OT loss. Not too effin' shabby if you ask me! :D
I also went on a nice run back a few months ago, starting with $10 on Pokerstars and running it up to just over $1200, playing mostly MTT's (Multi Table Tournaments for tha newbs). I had 3 Final Tables in 3 nights for the majority of my profits. Since then, I've been on a hideous downswing, although not playing well and not truly applying myself. Tonight, I finished 66th out of 1971 entrants in a $25+2.50 tournament for a whopping $75 or so...ghey. But it's better than going out early I guess. I was playing well, but my large stack turned average quickly, and my hands wouldn't hold in the late stages/couldn't win any races. The $8000 or so for first would be helpful about now...I'll just have to keep grinding.
I need to play waaay more live $1/$2 NL at the casino in Red Deer. That game is quite juicy and plenty of weak players around. I need to stop being lazy and go make some money.
K I 'spose I should get some sleep. Til next time...
~Vert
I keed, I keed! :P
So far so good. It's getting late and I need some sleep but I'll do a quick update.
Goal 1: Quit Smoking
It's actually gone surprisingly well. The patch is definitely an effective tool in the fight against smoking. Sometimes I can actually feel it on my body and it's sort of a strange/irritating feeling, but meh...small price to pay. My physical cravings are almost non-existant. The only issue thus far, has been a few habitual temptations. Mainly when I'm at a certain point in my day where I ALWAYS smoke a cigarette. But then I realize smoking sucks, and I smile and move on. It feels really good. I know it's early, but I still feel very positive. Most of my quitting attempts have ended in 3 to 18 hours...LOL I'm pushing 50 hours and feelin' fine! :)
I feel the milestone levels will be 3 days, 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 1 month, etc. I've heard 3 weeks is the key goal to reach. Time to keep rockin' it down. I'm a bit sad that I won't be able to smoke 30 Marlboros a day while I'm in Vegas this February... :( But then again, usually upon my return from the USA, my lungs feel on the verge of exploding!
Goal 2: BEEFCAKE!!!!!!!
Well I never did get around to an official weigh in...but I probably still will even though there might have been some change. I'm sure I've powered back 8000 calories in the last couple days hahaha! Very little exercise thus far as well. But I doubt there has been much physical change so I will prob snap some before photos, etc.
The shakes are not nearly as bad as I thought. I took the first one straight up water and powder. Shaken. It certainly wasn't the most tasty thing on earth. But I spoke with my personal trainer/adviser (Ron $$$), and he said "Fuck that." Apparently, I should be using the blender I bought, using milk instead of water, throwing in a banana, a few scoops of peanut butter, etc. So I have been doing that, and it's certainly much better. Actually quite tasty. And even more calories with all those goodies! Even Maki likes it, and keeps trying to drink some! Makaveli is my cat, for those of you who don't know him.
So I've probably increased my calorie intake vastly, with the shakes alone. I've also had a couple nice 10+ oz. Ribeyes, and a few other tasty treats. I've been eating two oranges a day, which is destroying my previous Vitamin C intake levels. The vitamins are going well, although the fish oil pills cause some interesting burps hehe...
Thus far for "working out", I've only started doing some curls, pushups, etc. Not much, but a start. Soon I will get my sister in law to whip my ass into shape on the bowflex.
Anyways, so far so good. :)
From time to time, I will probably blog about other shit. Poker, women, the Red Wings, my cats, etc.
Side note, Detroit came from behind tonight in the third for a 4-3 victory over the over rated Might Dicks of Anaheim. 7 wins in the last 8 games with one OT loss. Not too effin' shabby if you ask me! :D
I also went on a nice run back a few months ago, starting with $10 on Pokerstars and running it up to just over $1200, playing mostly MTT's (Multi Table Tournaments for tha newbs). I had 3 Final Tables in 3 nights for the majority of my profits. Since then, I've been on a hideous downswing, although not playing well and not truly applying myself. Tonight, I finished 66th out of 1971 entrants in a $25+2.50 tournament for a whopping $75 or so...ghey. But it's better than going out early I guess. I was playing well, but my large stack turned average quickly, and my hands wouldn't hold in the late stages/couldn't win any races. The $8000 or so for first would be helpful about now...I'll just have to keep grinding.
I need to play waaay more live $1/$2 NL at the casino in Red Deer. That game is quite juicy and plenty of weak players around. I need to stop being lazy and go make some money.
K I 'spose I should get some sleep. Til next time...
~Vert
BEEFCAKE!!!!!!!!!!
I have turned over a new leaf in my life. I've decided it's time to stop fucking around and do something for myself. I went through a very rough patch with a long term relationship ending. Needless to say (as some of my close friends know), it probably couldn't have unfolded any worse than it did.
But it is done. And instead of wallowing in sorrow and doing nothing, I've decided to amp it up and set some personal goals to keep myself occupied and better my life while I move forward and work towards being where I want doing what I want. As it stands, I'm sort of stuck with a house in a place I don't really want to be, thanks to the recession and a crazy bitch. But fortunately, Sylvan Lake is a resort town and a bit of an Alberta hot spot, so the market should turn around eventually.
Goal 1: Quit Smoking
Something I have been putting off for many years. I realize it's a filthy, disgusting, unfulfilling and expensive habit. Not to mention it kills you.
When I was young, I figured "Meh, I've only been smoking for 1 year. I'll quit soon, and the damage will be completely reversible and minimal to that of a 30 year smoker." It's now been about 9 years, and I realize that 7 or 8 years of smoking is a lot more similar to 25-30 years then it is to 1 or 2. So enough is enough.
I've tried before. I had some success whilst using the patch. But I thought I was too cool and decided to stop wearing it after 1 week. After a few days of wanting to snap necks, I gave in. It's funny how it seems to be the worst day of your life when you attempt to quit smoking. Obviously it's psychological, but try telling me that when I'm 36 hours into quitting with no cessation. FUCK THAT!
Progress: 24 hours. I'm using the patch, and aside from a few mental cravings, I feel fine. It's nice to not have that taste in the back of your mouth. After 24-72 hours, your taste sense begins to heighten again. I'm looking forward to "really" knowing what good food tastes like!
Goal 2: Obtain a body weight of 170 lbs in the short term (3 - 6 months), eventually 180lbs, while being in above average physical condition.
Although I don't have my official weigh in, I will set it at 150.0 lbs. That is what I weighed on New Year's day, and I doubt it has changed much. As most of you know, I'm 6'1. Thus, I'm incredibly thin and underweight for this height and frame. It's a bit embarrassing frankly, to be so vastly underweight.
I have my excuses, some being legit. Smoking is an appetite suppressant, so it prevents me from eating as much as I should be. I have a ridiculously high metabolism which has prevented me from gaining any weight in nearly 10 years, smoking aside. I have probably fluctuated from about 160 lbs (when I was relatively happy and starting to eat better last spring when I got my house), down to under 140 lbs, when I was depressed, struggling to come to grips with my crumbling relationship and having no appetite.
I also attribute it to my incredibly unhealthy diet. I typically do not eat breakfast, and only lately have I been occasionally eating a yogurt or something in the morning. Not that I have a physically demanding job, but I would surmise I burn off a few 100 calories per day just doing my thing. With one extremely unhealthy, shitty lunch meal full of unhealthy fats and empty calories, I'm starting the day way behind. I'm not exactly a gourmet chef either, and combined with being lazy, my evening meals aren't anything to feel positive about. No vitamins, very little fruit & vegetables...factor in no exercise or physical activity. Recipe for disaster. Time for some major changes.
So my solution? Now that I've decided to ACTUALLY quit smoking, my primary concern will be to focus on my health. That means rebuilding my stamina, endurance and cardio abilities. I don't intend to be a muscle dummy with an 19" neck...but I want to at least carry a healthy weight that is right for my frame, and carry it in a way that I can be proud an feel good about myself. I don't want to set an impossible goal, but 180 lbs should not be a difficult goal to reach over time unless I actually have some sort of physical inability to gain weight (which I highly doubt).
I've started by purchasing a protein mixture that is designed to put on weight quickly, interestingly named Mutant Mass :D. I've also purchased an excellent multi vitamin and some salmon oil pills. I will start out the shake at half doses, but when I reach full, it will be adding 2100 calories to my day alone. Combined with whole foods, I should be pushing the 3500 calorie/day mark easily. That could be anywhere from double to triple my normal day. I'm going to begin a bowflex routine, and likely join a gym for full work out. For now, I will at least do some push ups, curls, running, etc. If I train hard, my body should respond quickly I hope.
I expect to slowly but surely hit 170 lbs within 6 months. Depending on how effective the protein and diet change is, it could be quicker. I'm going to start slow with the shakes to make sure my body can handle it.
I've also been strongly thinking about boxing. Not to actually fight competitively, but to get into and remain in peak physical condition. I've always believed that boxers are among the most fit athletes in the world...and let's be honest, there isn't a better feeling then walking down the street and knowing you could break someone's jaw with an effortless left hook. ;) I also may consider Muay Thai, or some other type of martial art, maybe even mixed. We'll see...
I shall try to stay focused and do some updates on here. Any advice, encouragement, tips and suggestions are much appreciated. :)
But it is done. And instead of wallowing in sorrow and doing nothing, I've decided to amp it up and set some personal goals to keep myself occupied and better my life while I move forward and work towards being where I want doing what I want. As it stands, I'm sort of stuck with a house in a place I don't really want to be, thanks to the recession and a crazy bitch. But fortunately, Sylvan Lake is a resort town and a bit of an Alberta hot spot, so the market should turn around eventually.
Goal 1: Quit Smoking
Something I have been putting off for many years. I realize it's a filthy, disgusting, unfulfilling and expensive habit. Not to mention it kills you.
When I was young, I figured "Meh, I've only been smoking for 1 year. I'll quit soon, and the damage will be completely reversible and minimal to that of a 30 year smoker." It's now been about 9 years, and I realize that 7 or 8 years of smoking is a lot more similar to 25-30 years then it is to 1 or 2. So enough is enough.
I've tried before. I had some success whilst using the patch. But I thought I was too cool and decided to stop wearing it after 1 week. After a few days of wanting to snap necks, I gave in. It's funny how it seems to be the worst day of your life when you attempt to quit smoking. Obviously it's psychological, but try telling me that when I'm 36 hours into quitting with no cessation. FUCK THAT!
Progress: 24 hours. I'm using the patch, and aside from a few mental cravings, I feel fine. It's nice to not have that taste in the back of your mouth. After 24-72 hours, your taste sense begins to heighten again. I'm looking forward to "really" knowing what good food tastes like!
Goal 2: Obtain a body weight of 170 lbs in the short term (3 - 6 months), eventually 180lbs, while being in above average physical condition.
Although I don't have my official weigh in, I will set it at 150.0 lbs. That is what I weighed on New Year's day, and I doubt it has changed much. As most of you know, I'm 6'1. Thus, I'm incredibly thin and underweight for this height and frame. It's a bit embarrassing frankly, to be so vastly underweight.
I have my excuses, some being legit. Smoking is an appetite suppressant, so it prevents me from eating as much as I should be. I have a ridiculously high metabolism which has prevented me from gaining any weight in nearly 10 years, smoking aside. I have probably fluctuated from about 160 lbs (when I was relatively happy and starting to eat better last spring when I got my house), down to under 140 lbs, when I was depressed, struggling to come to grips with my crumbling relationship and having no appetite.
I also attribute it to my incredibly unhealthy diet. I typically do not eat breakfast, and only lately have I been occasionally eating a yogurt or something in the morning. Not that I have a physically demanding job, but I would surmise I burn off a few 100 calories per day just doing my thing. With one extremely unhealthy, shitty lunch meal full of unhealthy fats and empty calories, I'm starting the day way behind. I'm not exactly a gourmet chef either, and combined with being lazy, my evening meals aren't anything to feel positive about. No vitamins, very little fruit & vegetables...factor in no exercise or physical activity. Recipe for disaster. Time for some major changes.
So my solution? Now that I've decided to ACTUALLY quit smoking, my primary concern will be to focus on my health. That means rebuilding my stamina, endurance and cardio abilities. I don't intend to be a muscle dummy with an 19" neck...but I want to at least carry a healthy weight that is right for my frame, and carry it in a way that I can be proud an feel good about myself. I don't want to set an impossible goal, but 180 lbs should not be a difficult goal to reach over time unless I actually have some sort of physical inability to gain weight (which I highly doubt).
I've started by purchasing a protein mixture that is designed to put on weight quickly, interestingly named Mutant Mass :D. I've also purchased an excellent multi vitamin and some salmon oil pills. I will start out the shake at half doses, but when I reach full, it will be adding 2100 calories to my day alone. Combined with whole foods, I should be pushing the 3500 calorie/day mark easily. That could be anywhere from double to triple my normal day. I'm going to begin a bowflex routine, and likely join a gym for full work out. For now, I will at least do some push ups, curls, running, etc. If I train hard, my body should respond quickly I hope.
I expect to slowly but surely hit 170 lbs within 6 months. Depending on how effective the protein and diet change is, it could be quicker. I'm going to start slow with the shakes to make sure my body can handle it.
I've also been strongly thinking about boxing. Not to actually fight competitively, but to get into and remain in peak physical condition. I've always believed that boxers are among the most fit athletes in the world...and let's be honest, there isn't a better feeling then walking down the street and knowing you could break someone's jaw with an effortless left hook. ;) I also may consider Muay Thai, or some other type of martial art, maybe even mixed. We'll see...
I shall try to stay focused and do some updates on here. Any advice, encouragement, tips and suggestions are much appreciated. :)
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