All Apologies

"What else could I be? All apologies. What else can I say? Everyone is gay."



I would like to apologize.



I realize, through the past several months, I have been a burden. I used to consider myself a very good listener. I felt I was always there for a friend when they needed it. And in recent times, I've let my own problems overcome me so much, that I forget that other people have problems too.


It's time to man the fuck up.

I don't know why I sometimes have such a hard time dealing with things. People have been there for me from the beginning, throughout, and still. Some more than others. I appreciate all the listening, advice, shoulders to cry on, etc. Sometimes, I get carried away. The main reason, I think, is because it often feels like things are beyond my control, and when I try to move forward with my life, I get taken advantage of. Sometimes I feel claustrophobic, or trapped. This repetition has caused me to dwell, and be incredibly bitter.

But alas...I feel better now. For real this time. I mean it. I've talked with some people over the last day or two who are very close to me. And although it's been right there in front of me for a long time, I failed to see or do what I need to do. I kept finding excuses or reasons for me to fail. No more. It would seem we are seeing relatively eye to eye on the house now, so if things can work out reasonably, it should all be ok.

Then I can spend the summer shotgunnin' Pilsners, playing cards and enjoying the scenery. Good times lie ahead. I know it in my heart. I must believe it. I must realize it now. Gratitude is one of the most important things in everyday life. You must be grateful for everything you have, and everything you want, as if you already have it. And never take anything for granted. It's the hardest lesson to learn.

Enough of that shit.

8 dartless days and nights. That's where I'm at. Still going pretty well as far as I can tell. Sometimes, I barely think about it. That's a very good sign. I'm bowflexing quite regularly, my diet is slowly getting better and better. The shakes are becoming second nature. Results are soon to follow. Can't wait.

Red fucking Dragons!

Oh yes, and last night, I had the pleasure of seeing a couple old friends. Lee and Jason, some buddies of mine were in the area for work yesterday. They were nice enough to give me a call and invite me out for supper, perhaps to be followed by some cards. How can I say no to that? :)

So after a heavy assed meal at Mr. Mike's (thanks guys), Lee and I headed over to the Casino. Jason had to do a bit of work at the hotel, and came a bit later. Well well...

I don't typically play on weeknights, and it was very quiet. We were on the second table of 2 I believe, and it never did fill to capacity. Started out losing about $70 to my personal ATM. What a donk. Then I remembered...just wait til I have a hand. He always pays...

Sure enough, I stacked him a little while later. After my first little bump in the road, I powered my way back above starting stack and never looked back. Had a couple big hands run over, but made some nice lay downs and exerted some pot control when I was unsure of where I was at. Got pocket J's about 30 times last night haha...in the end, I went on a nice heater, flopped like 3 sets in 10 minutes, got paid almost everytime. Got value out of plenty of flushes. I won't get into too much hand detail right now. But it turned out to be my best session ever (aside from one Vegas one). +$1290 on the night. :D

So for the year, $515 and $1290 puts me at $1805. Not too shabby. Unfortunately, I'm a realist and I know I can't expect to keep up this constant win rate. But I'll take it. Time to ride the wave for a bit. Hopefully it carries through to Vegas. :D

Perhaps I'll write more later. I have to head into Red Deer for a bit...stupid weather.

Latah

P.S. Sorry it took a while to get this blog up! Two days without, and readers were going insane! :P